My Hooter Wasn't Working

I think engine starting problems appear to be my lot. Had to roll the bike down the hill to the mechanic. I first stopped at an auto spares shop, hoping he'd tell me where to find a mechanic. He said sit down. He lit a cigarette. Do you smoke? No. A few inhalations. Thumb playing with the filter. So what is the problem? I have no compression - I can't start the bike. Do you know where I can find a mechanic? A few head nods, wistfully looking out the shop over the valley. It was starting to rain. We still wanted to make Jammu today. More inhalations. Crossed legs, elbow in palms. You want a new clutch cable? (I was well aware I was sitting in a spares shop). No, I have a compression problem - I cannot start the engine. Do you know where I can find a mechanic? I am a mechanic (he didn't look like a mechanic - where was the oil on his hands?). You want a smoke? No thank you. I sat a little while longer until I had the urge to punch him. Ok thank you for your help I have to go. No no no wait wait please. He stepped outside, and came back with a mechanic - who then fixed my bike.

It was now almost one o'clock by the time we left Dharamsala. I then couldn't twist open the petrol cap, until we found a strong man to open it (he was very proud). It was now two o'clock.

The ride was beautiful. Past wide river beds, and over long bridges. My hooter wasn't working. Two guys on a scooter kept overtaking us, and then slowing down so that we overtook them. This carried on for a while until I yelled the vilest obscenities into my helmet. I think I am quite tense on a motorbike. I just want to survive. That's all. I pulled over to let them get away from us, and to fix my hooter.

Later we drove past an accident - their scooter was lying on its side in the road, and several people were bleeding.

We arrived in Jammu (winter capital of Kashmir) just before dark. Many heavily armed soldiers on the streets. I couldn't recognize the machine guns - even though I have a lot of Counter Strike experience. Nobody stopped us, they smiled when I nodded at them.

We found a hotel. Had supper in a restaurant completely lacking in atmosphere. We ordered a deluxe beer. It was served to us as if it were a very special bottle of wine. The waiter was full of flourishes. He took his job very seriously. Definitely a pro.