Hollywood Report #6

And Heike finally runs into Charlize Theron! But first more 'English as spoken in America'.

I'm on the plane outta Nuuw Yoark and I gotta tell 'ya, it was neat! Which brings me to this edition's 'English as spoken in America' lesson: "neat "is an extremely versatile word that can and definitely should be used in contexts that extend way beyond the filing cabinet, office or bedroom floor. And you thought the only time worth using "neat" would be to describe Shayne's handwriting or his sock drawer....WRONG. Anything can be neat (- even me! Although I will always have trouble being tidy). In my opinion, New York is 'pretty neat' and that does not mean 'good-looking and tidy'. In fact tidy and NY do not go together. (Same as tidy and Heike, who haven't even met.)

[...]

My cousin Elvira has a darling 3 year old named Isabella - and a real little "bella" she is. Ella-bella is the smartest, cutest kid you could hope to have as cousin twice removed. Elvira and I took her to the Radio City Music Hall Christmas show. It was a fun show for children. The Radio City Rockettes are fab to watch - such a precise team of dancers - every kick is at a uniform height and the timing is NEVER off. However, no offense intended, the one thing that struck me about the environment of this show is something I've wanted to bring up for a while. The consumerism culture-shock.

At the start of the show, Santa did a hard-sell of the production. His script had him saying stuff like " I love coming through NY on my travels 'round the world because Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without 5th Ave and Radio City. That's why I come back year after year - to see the Radio City Rockettes in the Christmas Spectacular and I hope you keep coming every year" etc - well, Santa, you're preaching to the choir here, buddy! If we're sitting here listening to you, it means we've already bought our tickets and come to see the show. Then there is the Radio City lobby: I counted 7 stalls selling a flashing lights toys, souvenir programmes, snow globes, underwear, T-shirts, food, plastic cups, candy, christmas tree decorations, santa and Rockettes dolls, plastic buckets of popcorn... every item with the logo of the show on it. People walked out of there with up to 4 large branded christmas bags in their hands. The bags were bigger than many of the children who had come to see the show! Hey, I don't want to be one of these when-I-was-little people, but when I was little and my parents took me to the Nutcracker Ballet for Christmas, I don't remember leaving with anything other than the pictures in the programme and the melodies in my head. There was no merchandise to be had - you were never able to do your one-stop Christmas shopping at the State Theatre in Pretoria! And I doubt that that is the case today.

[...]

I have just returned from the screening of "Monster", Charlize Theron's new independant film. WOW. She really is totally transformed in this role (about 10 kilos heavier, with prosthetic teeth) and very very believable. She was also there in person for a Q&A afterwards and.... I have been obsessed with running into Charlize since I first got here. I think I mentioned it in one of the reports. Anyway, 88 days into my 90 day stay I not only saw her, but spoke to her, shook her hand, hugged her, asked her stuff, told her stuff - she is a very, very accessible movie star. As always, after 5 questions in the Q&A the dumb interviewer starts on the "well, we have to wrap this up - last question"-theme. Charlize says: "Oh, why? I'm having such a good time. Do we have to go??" To which the audience howls: "Noooooooo" - so the questions continued. However, after about another 20 mins the management was adament that we stop, so Charlize took the session into the lobby. Just like that. She was like:" Wait, let me come down to you guys " (she was on a stage) and walked to the lobby with the audience in tow, stopped there and continued to answer people's questions and chat to people individually. The crowd thinned out, but I had rented the spot next to her left elbow and for the next 45 mins, I was not moving from there. I guess I was being a real hog, but I did let other people ask questions too and about 3 people wanted autographs. In between I kept firing off questions and I told her that I had been waiting to run into her during my time here and now it had happened. We eventually got kicked out of the lobby, so we carried on on the pavement. She told me she also came to Hollywood on a 90 day tourist visa and asked how long I had been here and what I was going to do and I told her... and she listened. She wanted to know where I was from in Jo'burg and when I said Randburg she was all:"Oh, I went to De Kruin art school there!" anyway, I won't give you every question and every answer..blah, blah, but I am absolutely amazed at how available she is to her public.

There was a guy filming her with his handycam, so I know I'm all over that home movie - I just did not want to leave! I knew it probably looked a little excessive, me glued to her elbow like that, but I had hatched this plan to ask her in Afrikaans (so that no-one else would get it), if she had time to have tea with me...I chose tea, because "koffie" in Afrikaans still sounds like coffee in English! Anyway, at the last moment I thought I may be pushing my luck and then I thought a guy near her was probably a bodyguard, so I dropped my plan. As it happens, this guy walked her to her car, but then she got in and he walked the other way. I could SOOOOO be having tea with her right now! I considered racing up to the car window with my proposal....but, luckily, I realised just in time that that would have been a very dumb move. maybe. Actually, maybe it wouldn't have been such a dumb move after all - ? oh, W H A T E V E R. Now that my little fantasy about running into her in Hollywood has actually come true, I have a new obsession - how to invite her to the screening of my film in February... never fear, I have a little plan already (and yes, it does involve the use of Afrikaans).